LOT Moments

Fine Line between Givers & Takers

We should all know the difference between a giver and a taker. A giver is someone who gives of themselves from various aspects, also known as a contributor. A receiver is someone who accepts something that is given to them, also known as a beneficiary.

I’m a giver, although if we’re being completely honest, I’m an imperfect human and I haven’t always been. I recall being called selfish quite a bit in my younger years by my parents and brother but as I’ve lived, learned, and grown I’ve followed in the footsteps of my parents and transformed into a giver. I believe that’s where it all begins, with your roots. I’ve grown up watching my parents throughout the span of their relationship give and help others. Regardless of if they were rich, poor, had it going on or not they still made a way out of no way to help others whether they were family, friends, or complete strangers. Watching my parents give of themselves, their time, energy, money, and so much more over the years has shown me all that I need to know in order to do the right thing and be a giver alike. Giving has blessed my parents in more ways than I can say and not only them but because they give so much those blessings have trickled down onto my brother and I. My mom always says that the reason she gives so much is because she wants her children to reap the blessings and benefits and because she hopes that someday when she is no longer living or able that someone will show the same kindness she showed to so many towards her children.

Don’t get me wrong, receiving is great, who doesn’t like to receive something, anything? Whether it be a text or call from someone checking to make sure you’re alive and well, a random gift of some sort, a surprise visit or spur of the moment treat, we all like to receive. I think I speak for most when I say we enjoy receiving because it makes us feel like we aren’t invisible, invaluable, or unappreciated. It’s a great feeling to know that someone notices, cares, and appreciates you and the things that you do for them. But for me the best feeling of all is when I’m giving.

For those of you who have never given in any way you may not understand just how much satisfaction you can get out of giving to others in comparison to receiving. Personally, there is no better feeling than helping people who need it. When I give it makes me feel so good! I feel something similar to the light at the end of a dark tunnel or a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Everything in me, my mind, spirit, soul, and body all align perfectly. Everything in complete balance and harmony simply because of an act of giving to others. When I give whether it be sharing words of wisdom, offering advice, lending a shoulder to lean or cry on, giving of myself, my time, energy, monetarily, or in the form of gifts, I give selflessly and wholeheartedly. Meaning I don’t expect anything in return, hell sometimes I don’t even get a simple ‘thank you’ and although it’s not right it’s okay.

Although I’m all about giving, two things that bother me to the core are the lack of reciprocation I receive and when people take advantage of my kindness.  Because of this, I am a giver who may seem a bit cold due to the many instances past and present where my kindness has been taken advantage of or taken for granted. I don’t expect anything from people in return for whatever I give them because the simple fact is that most people these days are all about themselves, what can you do for them or how will this or that benefit them. Sad, but true. People are so self-absorbed and focused on themselves that they can’t possibly fathom just doing something for someone out of the kindness of their heart with no expectations, there always has to be some underlying reason for performing a good act or deed.

That also goes to say something about expectations, I don’t have high expectations or any expectations at all for people simply because when you set an expectation for someone or something you’re giving that individual or thing an immense amount of power. So much to the point that when that someone or something falls short so does your power, leaving you feeling powerless. Little do you know, you have so much power instilled within you, such as the power to be the bigger person or the power to let things or people go when they no longer serve you or your life in a positive manner.

Reciprocation, goes along with my lack of expectation from others. I don’t expect people to reciprocate because they usually don’t. Regardless of my lack of expectations and reciprocation’s, it doesn’t mean that I’m a cold-hearted, negative Nancy. I am a human with feelings, and although it hurts at times and would give me all the reason in the world to be cold towards others, the warmer side of me will always be about giving and helping others in any way I possibly can. I can give till the death of me because it’s how I was raised, it’s instilled within me, and it pleases my mind, heart, soul, and spirit to know that someone has benefited from something that I’ve done for them in some way, shape, or form.

This brings me to pose a question, “How many people said they got you and forgot you?” I can answer this question with a list of names. To that regard, all I have to say is regardless of how many times people have wronged me, taken advantage of my kindness, and lacked in the area of reciprocation, that still hasn’t stopped me from being a giver. I just learned how to differentiate people, some are givers like me, some are takers, and some lack a conscience altogether. With learning how to differentiate between people that means I’ve let some people go and am continuously making strides to distance myself from certain individuals in the sense that I will no longer give in any way, shape, or form to those individuals who consistently take and drain me of everything without the slightest thought of me. So for those of you reading if you’ve noticed a change in my deameanor towards you, or the things I would do for you, maybe you’re one of the takers I’m talking about (hmmm..slug much).

Believe it or not, for those of you who lack a conscience and the ability to think of anyone other than yourselves, givers are not inexhaustible resources put on this earth to serve and satisfy you and your ever beckoning wants and needs. Givers are individuals who take the self out of selfish and go out of their way and do everything in their power for the sake of others. BUT please keep in mind that they too are human and deserve some balance in their lives as well because giving of yourself consistently in any form can be draining and exhausting. With that being said, I pose this last question to my readers, which one are you, a giver or a taker? Comment below I’d love to read about it!

Continue to experience the Life of Tai in my next post…

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