We refer to the saying, ‘what goes around comes around’ when karma is used in the context. That saying applies to more than just karma giving people what they rightfully deserve. It applies to people in general, the way they act from day to day and how they treat others is based on how they were treated and regarded by someone else once upon a time. And like a cycle, it just goes around and around from one person to the next.
The point I’m trying to make is, humans have the tendency to judge others right off the back. It can be based on looks, personality, mannerisms, demeanor, lifestyle, etc. Judgment, assumptions, and accusations are especially forthcoming when people act or treat us a certain way. When a complete stranger smiles at you as your passing one another, what do you do? Smile back of course. When someone compliments you, how does it make you feel? It makes you feel good and even more willing to find something to compliment them on in return. But let someone not greet you back after you tell them good morning, aren’t you less likely to even bother saying good morning to the next person that comes along? How does it make you feel when you hold the door open for someone or let them come out in front of you in traffic and they don’t say thank you. Doesn’t it make you feel like you should have never even bothered trying to be courteous towards them? Or when you try your hardest to be nice to someone but it seems like there’s just a black hole where their heart used to be and kindness is a foreign emotion to them. Doesn’t it stir up your spirit and rub you the wrong way? I don’t know about you, but it makes me mad and sometimes it even gets the best of me.
This is something I struggle with on the daily, especially at work. Working in the customer service industry, in my case a gym, with people from all walks of life and testosterone levels out the roof can make keeping my sanity and emotions under control a painstaking task. I find myself having to bite my tongue, watch my tone and control my facial expressions all too often when I’m dealing with people at work. It almost feels as if they find every way they possibly can to test me and get the best of me. I’m not saying all people are bad, but the ones that do treat me wrong sure make it seem as if they all are. Therefore leaving very little room for me to have hope in humanity. As much as I would love to play devil’s advocate and give people what I believe they deserve for treating me a certain way, I have to refrain from falling into the cycle, it’s a trap.
Do you ever sit back and think to yourself why people are the way they are? Why they do things a certain way or treat people in a certain manner. Why some people smile all the time and others walk around with chronic bitch face. Why some people cry like they were born without tear ducts while others are as quiet as a mouse. Why some people walk around with their nose in the air and others with their head down like the world is on their shoulders. The simplest answer to this mysterious phenomenon is that everyone has their fair share of skeletons in their closet and ecdysis that has made them who they are to this very day. Life has a way of putting people through their own set of trials and tribulations that test their character, faith, strength, ability and every ounce of humanity within them. So best believe that the things that people endure in life, as well as the people they cross paths with, has a direct effect on why they are the way they are and treat others the way they do.
What I find truly sad and it’s something that I am guilty of as well, is that we seem to take the golden rule, ‘Treat others the way you want to be treated‘ completely out of context and rather twist and turn it in a manner that it would work most ideally in whatever situation we’re applying it to. Instead of truly treating others the way we want to be treated, which means regardless of who wronged us, we still remain the bigger person, take the high road and treat them the way that we wish they would have treated us. We all too often take the low road and react off of feelings alone. We act and treat others a certain way as a direct reflection of how we’ve been treated by them. Like mirrors, we reflect whatever others project onto us. And what does that solve? Absolutely nothing. Little do we know we’re just creating this endless cycle of toxicity. How about we start transforming that cycle into a more positive one. Here are some simple ways that you can be the one to jump-start making strides to a more positive cycle:
- Be mindful of how you treat people, you never know what someone is going through
- Sometimes it takes some deep down digging to prevent yourself from giving someone exactly what they deserve. Leave payback in karma’s hands, dig down deep and hold back from being petty
- Regardless of what people dish at you, try your best not to take it to heart. Let it roll off your shoulder and return in the form of genuine kindness
- Refrain from doing tit for tat, two wrongs don’t make a right
- Learn to kill people with kindness. Little do you know you’re killing them softly with every kind word, gesture and stride you make
- Always try to seek out the good in people. Regardless of how bad and tarnished they seem on the outside, there’s always a little pot of gold hidden within everyone
These few ways seem so miniscule but they can make such a major impact on breaking the cycle. So next time you find yourself in the position to treat someone a certain way as a direct reflection of how they treated you, as opposed to treating them how you would like to be treated, think about these simple ways that you can break the cycle.
Continue to experience the Life of Tai in my next post…
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