I believe we’ve all heard the infamous Coco Chanel quote, “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” Without a shadow of a doubt, I am a complete advocate for this quote. A number of times that I have cut my hair, changed up my doo, changed my style, gone down a completely different path or done something unexpected or out of the ordinary the reasoning behind it was always based on a making a change within myself and my life. With that being said, let’s talk about why changes in anything done by a girl, young lady, woman, and females, in general, should be embraced, encouraged and empowered. Let’s talk about fempower.
My Personal Take
Whenever I do something different with my hair, change up my style or do something out of ordinary, it’s my symbol of confidence. “Confidence is not ‘they will like me’ confidence is I’ll be fine if they don’t.” Change is something that I believe should be embraced in each and every way. But the fact of the matter is though I may love and embrace the changes that I’ve made for myself and my life others may not do the same. There have been many occasions when people have confused my gender and sexual orientation based on my haircut. I’ve even been ridiculed for the number of piercings I have. In instances such as these and others it’s made me feel unpretty or like I’m less of a woman. But I’ve learned to take the negative opinions, assumptions, judgments, and comments people make at face value and stay true to who I am. It’s perfectly okay for people to make assumptions, judgments, comments and voice their opinions about the changes you choose to make for yourself and your life and I’m going to explain why.
For the most part society (not everyone) tends to have this unrealistic and totally outdated idea of what a woman, in general, is supposed to look and act like. Long hair (or hair point, blank, period), beat faces, pretty dresses, reasonable lengthed skirts and shorts (can’t have anything showing other than the cheeks on your face), sensible shoes and the posture, attitude and manners to match. And if you go against the grain society tends to look down on you and make you feel like you’re less of a woman or less feminine.
- You’re less of a woman because of your haircut or hairstyle
- You’re less of a woman because of your sexual orientation
- You’re less of a woman because of your body type: flat chest, flat butt, fewer curves or too busty, too thick, etc.
- You’re less of a woman because your face isn’t always beat or you just don’t wear makeup at all
- You’re less of a woman because you’d rather wear jeans over skirts and dresses
- You’re less of a woman because you let too much skin show
- You’re less of a woman because you’d rather wear dirty chucks over sandals and heels
- You’re less of a woman because you cuss like a sailor or cuss at all
- You’re less of a woman because of the way you walk or sit
- You’re less of a woman because you aren’t afraid to voice your opinion
- You’re less of a woman because you lost your virginity
- You’re less of a woman because of your occupation or because you like to play sports, workout or get a little dirty every now and then
- You’re less of a woman because(insert some crap that society believes defines all women)
It’s perfectly okay for society to have those beliefs because the reality is, we’re all human. We all have our own minds, opinions, and beliefs. And as humans, we should be allowed to be and do whatever we believe makes us who we truly are. We aren’t defined by societal norms nor should we follow suit just because society tells us to or that’s what’s right or acceptable. Having hair on our heads, made up faces, certain body types, what we wear, our posture, attitudes, manners and sexual orientation should not define whether we’re women or feminine enough. Those things do not make you a woman by any means. Why in the hell should you care what people think just because they have their own preconceived ideas of what a woman is supposed to look and act like? Who are you living for, society or yourselves? Personally, I just want to look the way I look, act the way I please and do what I want to do, that’s what truly makes me who I am, a woman.
Fempower Empowerment Begins With Y-O-U
In this day in time especially with this generation, I characterize girls as cats, vicious felines to be exact. I say this because social media tends to have a specific portrayal of women, a very unrealistic one at that. And everyone from little girls to grown women aspires to be replicas of this unrealistic portrayal. It’s misleading, disheartening and not a fair representation of all females. If females don’t look the part their fellow peers tend to pounce on them and tear them down in every which way they can. Instead of tearing each other down, start building each other up regardless of looks, personality, occupation, status or sexual orientation. What we fail to realize is when you tear other females down, you’re saying it’s okay for the opposite sex to do the same and that’s not okay. We all have to stand together as women in all aspects because together we are stronger and infectious.
Ways You Can Empower Fempower
- Be sincere and start giving out random compliments, it’s the little things that count
- If you see something beautiful in someone, speak it
- Be who you are regardless of what others think or say and encourage others to do the same
- Do what makes you happy: cutting your hair, changing your style, your occupation, playing sports, etc
- Whatever you choose to do with yourself or life be sure you do it full throttle. “You don’t get into something to test the waters, you go into things to make waves.”
- Never, I mean never feel the need to explain nor apologize for doing what you’re doing, being who you are or the way you look
- Stand up for others when you see an injustice or hate taking place
- Try your best to be kind to everyone, especially your fellow females because you never know what someone is going through. Your kinds words can stop a girl from wanting to self-harm or worse
- Have more girls days! Invite new friends along and spread the love
- Start empowering ALL females for any and everything. More positive vibes equals more self-love
Lastly, as a means to inspire and motivate you all to stay true to yourselves and let who you are continually thrive and shine through regardless of what others think or say, here are some pics of females that I believe rock their look and let their personalities and fempower shine through the bullshit society can bring. There are much more out there but these are just a select few that I picked off the top of my head. If their social media handle(s) is/are by their picture be sure to click the link, check it out and support these fempower queens
If you’d life your picture and social media handles to be a part and in support of this post then please leave a comment with a way for me to contact you and I would be more than glad to add your picture and social media handles to this post.
“I have tattoos, piercings and I’m a lesbian, but I’m also a self-made freelance model. I go against the gradient. I’m not your typical model. I’m not your urban model who just shows her body in swimsuits. I want something more out of this than just fame and fortune. I want to change the modeling world to be open to diversity.” – Charity
With all of these girls, one thing is very clear: they have mastered the art of self-love. It all starts with self-love. Each unique in their own way they have all managed to utilize their self-expression to be unique, bold and beautiful. We are all different and it’s when you learn to embrace those differences that your light will truly begin to shine. I know James Brown says it’s a man’s world but according to BJ the College Kid, it’s a woman’s world & Beyonce says, ‘Who runs the world? Girls!’ Face it women make the world go round so let’s be sure we as women are doing what it takes to keep that cycle going.
Find yourself, be true to yourself, love yourself, be bold, unapologetic and empower fempower
Continue to experience the Life of Tai in my next post…
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