“Aloneness is dangerous. It’s addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don’t want to deal with people.”
The word, lonely is typically associated with a negative connotation. Maybe I’m a little bias because I’m an introvert, but personally, I don’t consider loneliness negative by any means. So I thought I’d share a brief list of things that I get out of indulging in loneliness and share a few tips on how to maximize your alone time.
Things I get out of being lonely:
I can be in a room full of people and feel completely lonely. So when it comes to actually being by myself I get the greatest satisfaction out of it, and these are the reasons why:
- I get to remove myself from the daily hustle and bustle of life and escape to a space that no one is allowed, kind of like my own little world.
- Gives me time to think, and sometimes over think, but mainly just clear my head and let my mind wander.
- I’m more prone to take the time out to notice the little things.
- I get to spend time getting to know me, myself and I on a deeper level.
- It’s the perfect time for me to meditate, pray and talk to God.
- I get this great sense of inner and outer peace.
- I have the ultimate freedom to do whatever I want; be silent, laugh, scream, cry, sing, yell, etc.
Ways that loneliness can serve as a remedy:
Since I spend a lot of my time alone, here are some things that I like to do that may also help you realize what maximizing your alone time can do for you mentally, physically and emotionally.
- Being in this technology savvy generation it can be hard to get things done or think straight when your eyes are always glued to your phone, computer or television screen. So first things first, remove yourself from all technological devices for a while. Start in increments of minutes and build up to hours.I usually place my phone in a drawer, put it on do not disturb, on silent or turn it off altogether.
- Find a place where you can be alone, comfortable and undisturbed, a peaceful space to sit or lay down.My go-to spots are typically my backyard porch, pool, jacuzzi, a nook in the game room or my room with the door closed.
- Find your great escape. By this I mean find something that you can do that releases stress, negative energy, and bad vibes.My great escapes consist of writing (journaling or blogging), reading, dancing and listening to music.
- While having a great escape is great, also spend some of your alone time in complete silence. I know the thought of sitting somewhere in complete silence sounds scary or uncomfortable. But use this silence as a way to notice the details about the things around you or yourself, think about all aspects of yourself, current situation, future, dreams, goals, talk to yourself or a higher power or just release some emotions that you’ve had bottled up inside. It’s a direct path to gain the ultimate peace of mind and relieve some emotional tension.I tend to do this at the most unexpected times, I’ll usually just lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling, watch the ceiling fan spin round and round or sit in a nook or cranny somewhere in the house and stare out the window.
- Just like you can remove yourself from the noise of the world by finding a quiet space, the same goes for the people in your life. Remove people that are stifling your growth and not allowing you to blossom and flourish to your fullest potential.”Just because you are lonely does not mean you should invite someone toxic back into your life.”I delete contacts from my contact book, social media accounts or just stop associating myself with certain people altogether.
- Loneliness doesn’t always have to mean being stuck at home, it can also mean doing things on your own. Take yourself out to dinner, concerts, the movies, treat yourself to a solo spa day or shopping spree, take a walk, run or drive somewhere, just do something by yourself, for yourself.
- I remember the first time that I took myself out to dinner. I took some time away from my family, playing chauffeur, and being a personal slave to enjoy some me, myself, and I time. I never thought that going out by myself would be a feasible task, but I actually enjoyed it more than ever. I felt extremely comfortable and at peace. I recommend that everyone try and do something by themselves regardless of what it is, baby steps my friends.
Just to break the stereotype, being lonely or choosing to have alone time doesn’t make you antisocial. It means you care enough about yourself to remove yourself from people and situations that life throws your way to regain control and keep everything balanced. So take the time to indulge in loneliness and don’t feel bad about it for one second.
I hope that my personal reflections on what loneliness means and has done for me as well as the tips I gave will help you in finding the power that lies within loneliness.
Continue to experience the Life of Tai in my next post…
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