LOT Moments

Growing🌱& Blossoming🌻

I know I’m not the only one that gets bored or needs something to do to pass the time and goes straight for my SnapChat, Instagram, Tumblr and Facebook feed for satisfaction. Hell, that’s like second nature these days. It’s just my automatic reaction to boredom or idleness. Don’t get me wrong we all get caught up in what’s going on in our family and friends lives, social media makes it just that easy for us to stay informed and connected. And that’s great and all but sometimes I find that social media is a great hindrance for me.

I love seeing my peers prosper and grow throughout life. I enjoy seeing my peers graduations, landing dream jobs, new relationships, engagements, marriages, starting families, traveling or whatever the venture may be. It’s great, I celebrate with them! The part that’s problematic for me, is amongst being genuinely happy for my peers and celebrating their successes, that joy I had transformed into a personal feeling of shame, self-doubt, and pity. Leads my mind to wonder if I’m  doing what I’m supposed to be doing, if I’m in the right place, surrounded by the right people, am I living up to my full potential or living life at all for that matter.

When I began to look at social media in this manner, I know it’s time for a break. Time to delete the apps on my phone (not the accounts) and take a break from constantly scrolling through my timelines to pass the time and fill an empty void. I know there’s a fine line between getting my social media fix for the purpose of staying informed and connected and actually allowing it to make me feel worthless. And lately, I’ve been allowing it to take a negative toll on me rather than a positive one. Instead of using the things I see on social media as motivation to go where I want to go, do what I would like and be who I want to be.

What I’m learning to ingrain in my brain throughout times like this (especially these days) where I can’t stand watching people find their way and happiness in life via social media, is that everyone is on their own journey and just because I may not ideally be making it in the same way they are, doesn’t mean I’m not making it at all. I’m just on my own journey and I have to take every moment and period of pain, struggle, sadness, joy, relief, and promotion for what it’s worth.

Currently, I’ve been really struggling with the concept of separating my personal journey from others. I’ve felt very down and out because it’s almost like everyone around me is moving and grooving through life and I’m just at a stand still. But seeking the higher purpose of my current position in life has shown me that when times get rough, friends and family start disappearing and I feel completely lost and alone, that’s just me drifting through another transitory phase. Whenever I’m in these transitory phases is usually when I feel the most miserable because it causes me to dig down deep and find my strength to get through it and prosper. I can’t expect promotion in life or into my destiny without a little pushing and pulling along the way. When it’s all complete, I’ll feel more empowered and accomplished because of all the strength I had to have and fighting I had to do, that’s what makes it all worth it.

So I may not be exactly where I want to be in life right now regarding my status, job title, or relationship wise and that’s okay.  Because all of these down and out feelings I’ve been experiencing and friends and family I’ve been losing are all just making it possible for me to fully grow into my potential and soon blossom into my destiny. I can’t allow people, things or my mind to stifle my growth. Blooming isn’t easy, like all flowers it takes some help from a few different elements. So just like flowers I’m well on my journey to blooming, it’s just going to take a hell of a lot of patience, faith, and genuine happiness for others as well as towards myself and current situation. If I can keep my social media stigma under control then blooming is inevitable.

Continue to experience the Life of Tai in my next post…

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