I came to a revelation
I’m in a transitory phase in my life where things are drastically changing as far as myself as an individual and my life in general. Family life is getting better, I graduated from college, transitioning into adulthood and I’ve grown closer in my relationship with God. But with all that GROWTH I’ve been losing friends and am still finding it difficult to make and keep friends up to this very day. I finally see that it’s not a bad thing at all. Being here in Australia I had a relapse from this revelation. I actually came to this revelation when I was in my final semester of college and now find myself coming back to it as a point of reference and refreshment. I began to feel bad about the lack of friends and connections I was making here and struggling with accepting the fact that I am a loner, always have been. I allowed it to get the best of me until speaking with some close friends and family back home to make sense of it all, that’s the point at which I was reawakened.
The point of it all
God is doing his will and weeding out the people that I no longer need in my life. The people that were only here for a period of time, to serve their purpose and move on. The people that I can’t take to the next level with me. He’s making me UNCOMFORTABLE so that I can grow and develop a character for the next phase in my life. It sucks because I do get lonely at times and feel friendless. But in that loneliness, I’ve found peace, solitude, and comfort. It’s given me the time I need to grow more independent and aware of who I am as an individual.
It’s okay to take time for yourself. Go out explore, wine and dine alone, spoil yourself, try new things and branch out. From a personal viewpoint, I sometimes find that being social can be exhausting but that doesn’t mean you should hinder yourself from getting out there and meeting people. Make an effort to be social, but don’t over do it. Always be yourself, don’t be desperate for friendship and let them chase you, never chase. A slightly ignorant motto of mine that goes along with that is: Never allow anyone to feel like you need them more than they need you. Good things and the right people will always find their way into your life in due time, so just be patient and enjoy the ride.
This battle is not yours
I realized that as much as I would like genuine, down to mars friends and connections and to develop a thriving social life, I can’t fight it anymore. I can’t fight the Lords plan for my life. If anything I’m going to be better off without someone that doesn’t appreciate the type of person I am or potential friend that I can be, or simply having me around. I have to give my attention, love and time to those who give me the same willingly and unconditionally. I’m tired of giving my all to people who fail to realize my worth.
I believe I’m getting comfortable again with being uncomfortable. I’m moving on and continuing to trust and follow God as he leads me on this journey. I hope that those of you who have been struggling with the concept of letting go will have a new perspective and the courage it takes to let go of people and things that are liabilities rather than assets to your life.
Continue to experience the Life of Tai in my next post…
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